Tuesday, February 16, 2010


I'm not really sure how to describe the past few days. I realize that I haven't posted anything lately and I do apologize for that. I really didn't have much going on other than church, procrastinating homework by hanging out with friends and a little bit more of hanging out with friends (some thrifting was thrown in there too!)
I love my friends so much but I honestly think that I need to cut down on how much time I spend with them...not because I don't want to be around them anymore but because I need to work on prioritizing and making sure I get the things done that MUST be done before I have free time to play and do what I want. I know that this is going to be really hard for me to do but I honestly need to change this part of my lifestyle. Plus, I think that when I start spending a little less time with them, I will appreciate the time that I do have with them more!
I am currently reading On The Road by Jack Kerouac for one of my classes and it is making me want to go on a road trip SOO badly. Honestly, I HAVE to go somewhere over spring break in March. I plan to go to Utah to see my sister, brother-in-law and new nephew but we will see how that plays out.
I'm also struggling a bit with feeling fully accepted. I feel like that statement is something you would hear come out of a 14 or 15 year old's mouth but I randomly have spurts in my life where I get this feeling majorly. I feel like I'm in the way and very bothersome to people. I know that this isn't true but I can't help to feel like that.
I had a discussion (a little bicker, if you will) with a friend the other night and he was telling me that he didn't rely on other people to make him happy. Now, I wasn't sure if I should take this as an insult or not but I think I kind of did because afterwords I started thinking about it I realized that I do that. I count on others to always be there for me talk to, confide in, get advice from, etc. But I can't do that anymore...I think that's another reason why I want to try to spend more time alone, so I can learn to rely on God to make me happy, not other people.

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