Thursday, February 18, 2010

A lot of thinking...

So there seems to be a lot of things going on this week that are making me think a lot.
I truly enjoy being challenged and having conversations that make me think and make me have to research the subject.
 On Monday nights I go to house church with 8-10 people and I really enjoy it. We've been reading 1 John lately and the conversation on Monday night became very interesting. We started talking about predestination and salvation and if we believed that God has our life planned out for us already and if we believe that God chose certain people to be saved and not others. This has been something that has been bothering me ever since. I've done a lot of thinking and researching and talking to people about it and I'm continuing to ask people what they believe. I'm not 100% sure what I think yet but I enjoy hearing peoples opinions about different things. I tend to be the type of person that has a hard time looking outside of my point of view and that is why I always ask others for their see different perspectives on the subject.
I've been talking with one of my best friends about it a lot and it turns out that her boyfriend is actually researching and doing a study about it right now. She is starting to come around to the idea of believing in predestination salvation and sees going through this now (trying to figure out what she believes and what is right) is a test to prove to God our faith and trust in Him.
I also decided I wanted to find out what a friend of mine thought who has some different beliefs than I do. It was really interesting talking to him. He said that the bible talks about free will but also says "Many are called, but few are chosen"...he says the bible contradicts itself and we have to choose what we believe and what we don't believe. He said that if one believes God has chosen hell for oneself, then one could live as they wanted even though they wouldn't ever truly know for sure if they were predestined for hell or not.
 Another thing that got me thinking was my history class today. We started talking about the government and if they have too much control over our lives. If doing the whole "big brother" thing was wrong...having cameras to take pictures if you run a red light, etc. We also started talking about population control and if the government has the right to only allow us to have 1 or 2 children. To only allow certain people to have children; adults who are sex offenders, mentally retarded, living off of welfare, etc. wouldn't be allowed to have kids. It made me think of a book I read last semester and a play I saw last summer called The Giver. If you haven't read it I would suggest it to's a quick easy read but has a lot of juice to it. It takes place in the future and the people live where the government has control over basically every aspect of their lives. They don't mind it though because they don't know any different.
I would suggest looking into it...
I would love to hear your thoughts on one or both of these subjects so feel free to comment!


Tuesday, February 16, 2010


I'm not really sure how to describe the past few days. I realize that I haven't posted anything lately and I do apologize for that. I really didn't have much going on other than church, procrastinating homework by hanging out with friends and a little bit more of hanging out with friends (some thrifting was thrown in there too!)
I love my friends so much but I honestly think that I need to cut down on how much time I spend with them...not because I don't want to be around them anymore but because I need to work on prioritizing and making sure I get the things done that MUST be done before I have free time to play and do what I want. I know that this is going to be really hard for me to do but I honestly need to change this part of my lifestyle. Plus, I think that when I start spending a little less time with them, I will appreciate the time that I do have with them more!
I am currently reading On The Road by Jack Kerouac for one of my classes and it is making me want to go on a road trip SOO badly. Honestly, I HAVE to go somewhere over spring break in March. I plan to go to Utah to see my sister, brother-in-law and new nephew but we will see how that plays out.
I'm also struggling a bit with feeling fully accepted. I feel like that statement is something you would hear come out of a 14 or 15 year old's mouth but I randomly have spurts in my life where I get this feeling majorly. I feel like I'm in the way and very bothersome to people. I know that this isn't true but I can't help to feel like that.
I had a discussion (a little bicker, if you will) with a friend the other night and he was telling me that he didn't rely on other people to make him happy. Now, I wasn't sure if I should take this as an insult or not but I think I kind of did because afterwords I started thinking about it I realized that I do that. I count on others to always be there for me talk to, confide in, get advice from, etc. But I can't do that anymore...I think that's another reason why I want to try to spend more time alone, so I can learn to rely on God to make me happy, not other people.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

My blog..

I've been thinking about what I want my blog to be...when I started it I was going for a "daily journal" type thing...but now I think I want it to just be a random collection of thoughts/picutres/journaling/ideas.
My birthday is coming up (in a month) and I asked my mom for this bag:

I'm excited about it because I've been wanting a messenger bag that I can put my lap top in...and I love lots and LOTS of pockets....always have..and it has a TON of pockets! I think I will be a happy camper.
It should arrive Tuesday..I can't wait.
I'm at work and I'm bored so I'm gonna go paint my nails!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

My list...

So I've been thinking a lot the past week or so about things that I wanna work on and change in my life. I was thinking about it more tonight while I was working out and decided I would put it on my blog so it is public and maybe that will make me actually follow through with these things. So here it is:

1. I want to read my Bible and spend time in prayer every day
2. I want to work out 4-5 times a week
3. I want to have at least one juice a day (we just got a juicer and it is REALLY fun/cool!)
4. I want to work on not complaining
5. I want to go through my closet and get rid of anything I don't wear/use
6. I want to save as much money as possible (meaning I don't go out to eat/shop/etc..) and only buy things that are an ABSOLUTE necessity
7. I want to learn to spend time alone and be good with it
8. I want to start waking up early enough to give myself PLENTY of time to get ready for the day
9. Because I want to do number 8 I need to start going to bed at a decent time too
10. I want to be organized and productive, not lazy, when it comes to my school work (even though it is my last semester)

...that's all I can think of right now..I might add more later...

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

It happened...

Today was the day that we put Simba down...I didn't get near as sad about it today as I thought I would...I think maybe it's because I didn't know what time it was going to happen so I just kept myself busy all is a picture of my beautiful cat that is no longer with us:On a brighter note...I saw two more pictures of my beautiful nephew, Ethan, today! Ah! I think I'm in love...for real!

Today was surprisingly a lot better than I thought it would be. I had a test in my History class that I didn't study for and I know I failed it but I don't really care.
I got to catch up with an old friend and get some great advice from her about the 1 year internship in Oregon that I'm applying for.
I got to talk theatre for a while with the other people in charge of the Spring play at school. I'm assistant stage manager and props mistress (along with another girl) and I'm starting to get REALLY excited. I haven't done theatre since high school (2 years) and I miss it a lot!
I had work..which is always boring..but then I went and hung out with my cousin. We are only 3 months apart in age but are complete opposites. We have never really hung out outside of family functions and tonight was a little weird but it was fun. I really hope to hang out with him more and get to know him on a deeper level.
Then went and worked out. I did 20 minutes on the elliptical and 20 minutes on the bike. My friend Mallory and I went together (which always makes it easier) and we had a great talk during it all!
I'm going to be ending this not-so-horrible day with a little time with Jesus..then off to sleep!

The First Post.... starting this blog I wasn't really sure what I would talk about. I honestly don't feel like I have that much of an exciting life. I mean, sure stuff happens to me, good and bad, I struggle with things, make goals etc...but I didn't really think I would be able to have anything that would be "good enough" for a blog. But now, I honestly don't really care! I've decided that I'm going to do this for me...not for anyone else (although I would love it if people, even one person, read by blog consistently)...I think this will be good...

Let's dive right into what's going on in my life shall we?
So today was interesting. When someone asked me how I was doing this morning I honestly didn't know how to answer. I tried to explain but probably ended up sounding crazy. I only got 4 or 5 hours of sleep last night so that didn't help anything...I found out at about 1 am that my nephew had been born at 12:04am weighing 6 pounds 13 ounces and was 19.5 inches long. His name is Ethan and I honestly think he is THE cutest baby I've ever seen...and I'm not just saying that because I'm his aunt.
AH! I love him and I haven't even met him yet!

So that was the up side to my day...
The down side was that today was also the day that my mom was going to have my cat (we have had him for 12 years or so) put down. Now honestly, he's not THAT old, and he's so nice and not in any pain. "Why would you put him down then?" you might ask...well, I guess with the type of cat that he is and the fact that he is male means that he is going to pee on stuff a lot more often that a cat should...and it is so true. As much as we may love him and love having him around 95% of the time...he pees on stuff too often and it's starting to get worse and worse. He can control it and knows exactly what he's doing but we can't deal with it any more. He is an indoor cat; doesn't have front claws so he can't survive on a farm. He can fend for himself a little bit but not much...he's a mama's boy....he didn't end up getting put down today but he will be tomorrow (Tuesday) I'm have a hard time dealing with this but there's not much I can do to change my moms mind.
So when you put these two extreme opposites together within 24 hours and throw in some fun times with friends at dinner, a few insults that hit me hard and a lot of could say that today was one heck of a roller coaster ride...

Wow! This has been a long first that's all for now I guess.