It bothers me that my attempt at things always seems to never happen. I say I want to do something and it never comes about. I know that I am the only one to blame for any of this but I can't seem to figure out what part of me keeps me from doing the things I say I want to do. I'll say I want to start exercising, trying new foods, waking up earlier, being more crafty etc, but for some reason there is a part of me that seems to be stronger than the rest that makes me not do the things I say I want to do.
I realize that I can be fairly lazy sometimes. But I enjoy staying busy and doing different things through out the day/week. I don't know why I can't have enough self discipline to make things happen. I'm trying though. And I think that because I'm aware of it now, I'll be able to change it sooner. Hopefully.
I've been making button necklaces trying to find the best thing to string them on and the best thing to use for a closure in the back. I want this blog/store thing to start soon but again...no motivation = no results. I feel like so much of my time is consumed by other things that I have to do (work, school, the costumes for the play, spending time with friends to keep those relationships going strong, spending time with family) that all the things I want to do for myself (making necklaces, sewing, bike rides, hooping) just don't happen.
You know, I think all of this is coming out because the weekend was so absolutely amazingly wonderful and beautiful and today it is cold, cloudy, rainy, and the start of a new week. Seasonal depression. That's what is wrong with me. I can't wait for summer. I hope it is just as memorable as last summer. I know it will be because I'll make sure of it :)
I'm going to be happy today! I won't let silly things get me down! The rain is beautiful and needed. I'm going to embrase it!
I will leave you with a beautiful picture: